HTC Incredible :: Contacts - Duplicates And Several Accounts

I'm the only one who has run into this problem, but I doubt it. I am overwhelmed by the contact organization system on my inc. I don't understand it at all, actually. I have the following accounts linked to my phone:

1) Exchange Account (using Touchdown App)
2) Gmail account (using gmail app)

Somehow, all my Exchange contacts have now landed in my Google contacts. How did this happen?! And how do I fix this? Moreover, I have over 4,500 contacts in my Exchange account, and I simply don't understand how the phone displays these. Since I'm using touchdown, which has its own contacts tab, will these same contacts show up when I hit the "people" widget? I can't tell if this widget is getting populated by my gmail acct (which now has my 4500 contacts in it) or if it's coming from Touchdown.

Another annoyance is that I don't want to look through 4500 contacts to find the 10 or so people I regularly call or email. Is there a way to make it so only a select few show in the "people" tab, rather than all 4500? I just had to hard reset my phone and I had a group of 15 people that was saved in my google account for text messaging purposes. When I restored the phone, only 10 people were left in the group, the other names weren't even in my "people" widget anymore. How did it decide which 10 people to save? And why did I lose those 5 people from my "people" widget? What is the difference between putting a tab as a "phone" contact, Exchange contact, or google contact? It seems that they are all linked somehow. I don't understand how to back it up properly.